Feb 27, 2009


Annoying misconceptions part I:
"Nice guys finish last" and other phrases that need to be shot.

I heard a guy---okay maybe I was eavesdropping on the bus coz I had run out of reading material. Petty semantics. Whatever. Anyway, he quoted this cliche to his friend. "If you want to get a woman, you need to be a jerk". LIES AND BULLHONKY.

Women hate jerks. If I were to go out and openly mock a girl for anything longer than a minute, she would probably follow me home and key my car if she wasn't already too busy punching me with her tiny fists.

So why does it work for some guys? Coz they're not making as many mistakes as your average bloke. Assholes, for whatever reason, do not focus on what other people want. They don't consider what the girl would want, they don't second guess themselves. They're in the business to satisfy their own agenda and it doesn't really matter who gets hurt in the exchange as long as its not them. That's why they're assholes. Duh. If they're attracting women, it also means that they've know what the average girl's threshhold for verbal abuse is and have at least learned enough to back off if they see the warning signs: lack of eye contact, closed posture, throbbing veins in the middle of the forehead. In short, they're jerks in smaller, more acceptable doses around the women they want to attract. Devious.

This is what your typical jerkwad won't do (learn from this):
+ fear insulting a girl he just met. If you're afraid of losing a girl you just started talking to, chances are you've already lost the game. At best you'll come off as friend material---at worst, you won't even make it past her b**ch shield and you'll get blown out of the water.
+ smother his girl with gifts, phone calls, texts, emails, pokes, and loving faxes.
+ pay attention to how other people perceive him. Otherwise he wouldn't be okay with being such a monumental tool. This also means he's okay with stepping on other people's toes to get what he wants and this comes off as confident and in control > he becomes the alpha male of the group and women eat that shit up.
+ lose attraction. This is a big one. Since your average ass is going to be doing things to drive his girl away from him, this actually works to his favor. Every time the girl comes back to him or forgives him, she's giving herself a mental hernia from the effort she's putting into that relationship---she's investing that much more into it. The more investment in the relationship, the more she feels like she's leaving behind if she initiates a breakup. That means she becomes less likely to leave him as the timeline continues. Ever run into that girl who's dating an alcoholic who only hooks up with her on weekends and plays WoW for the other ...whatever 5x24 hours is? Now you know why she can't leave.

I'm not advocating that you start fights with your girl to drive her away so she'll NEVER EVER leave you. I'm suggesting you don't wait hand and foot on her or she'll take you for granted very very quickly.

A guy can still be nice and be attractive to women, but it definitely becomes a numbers game rather than a skill if you start off your interaction by trying to nice the girl to death. You don't have to be a dick to win over the girl of your dreams, you just have to learn when to be nice. Ideally this takes place after you've already done something to attract the girl. Once you've proven that you're actually worthy, being a nice guy will win you points. Just make sure that its not the only thing you do. And if you are determined to be a jerk, then tone it down and mix in some variety of cuteness. Its like girl crack.

Seriously. Try it.

To be continued...